We are on the other side of the miscarriage. It was, in many senses, everything I hoped it wouldn't be. I awoke around 3:30 on Saturday morning and started bleeding heavily. We saw right away there was way too much blood and went to the emergency room, where we spent the next 8 hours. God was merciful in that I experienced very little pain, but the blood loss was significant. They were going to release me after about an hour and a half, but I passed out when I got off the bed. When I came to, it took me a minute to figure out where I was as there were people all around, someone was taking my shirt off, I had an oxygen tube in my nose, sensors stuck on my chest, an IV in my arm, etc. They sent an OB doctor in and he felt that most everything had passed but it was necessary to do a D&C to ensure everything was cleared out so I would stop losing blood. I was thankful that my cervix was already dilated, so they didn't have to do that part, and there was very little left in my uterus. It only took a few minutes and sure enough, the bleeding slowed greatly after that. The doctor was really good and took the time to explain why he felt this was necessary, and that he didn't just routinely do this on everyone. It was a few more hours before my blood pressure was stable enough for me to go home. The doctor said I had lost enough blood that I was right on the line for needing a transfusion, but that if I promised to rest for a week I should be able to gain strength and build up my blood supply on my own. Thank God for that! He said all I'm allowed to do, for the most part, is go to the bathroom. So, I'm camped out on the couch, being waited on by our family and treated like a queen! I ahve a whole arsenal of vitamins and supplements and high-iron snacks and foods. Different people are bringing meals this week and next. I'm very weak, and feel tired out after my bathroom trips, but other than that feeling fine. Erik bought a shower attatchment thing today so that I can sit and rinse off and I'm really looking forward to being able to do that.
I'm grateful that this is over, and that I was able to get the help I needed and am okay. It was scary, but God was with us and giving His peace and strength. Everything I didn't want to happen happened. But, God is still good, and He is in control, and even though I don't understand this, I'm thankful for so many things- we were able to have good care, I had very little pain, we have lots of help, I'm okay, etc. I'm so thankful for Peregrine and Alethea and our families and friends. I'm also thankful that I had over a week to work through some of the grief before having to go through the physical trauma. I can't imagine going through the shock of realizing our baby had died at the same time as the physical miscarriage happening. Emotionally, God has really held me up the last few days. I know the grief is not over, but His grace is sufficient, and He is with us. I'm very, very aware of my weakness right now, and very aware of His strength. There are many Scriptures that have comforted us during this time.
Thank you for your prayers for our family during this time. The kids are definitely feeling it, but they don't really understand what's going on. Peregrine has been difficult, and of course neither one of them understand why their Mama is lying on the couch all day, unable to play and do all the things I normally do for them. Erik went back to work today, which I think it probably more restful in a way for him than trying to do everything around the house. Our families have made a schedule of who will be here with us this week, and we all well taken care of.
Held up by Him,